Mars and Venus

We are leaving this weekend for a visit to my folks' house. We leave this afternoon sometime.

How Mommy Gets Ready For A Trip:
- 2 days before trip, make a list of every possible item the kids will need, and writes notes all over everything like "don't forget to charge camera" and "wash lovey blankets"

- the night before, washes every shred of clothing and fabric in the house and folds. Leaves for husband to put away, which he ignores.

-Day of- puts away clothes and curses husband.

---packs a bag for herself, with an extra outfit for when her kid smears chocolate cake on her shirt at 10am.

---packs bags (notice, plural, as in "more than one") for each child, with extra diapers, medicines, toys, wipes, loveys, videos, snacks, and every other freaking thing imaginable that they might want

---packs more diapers, because the memories of "that one time we went to St. Louis and baby got sick" are still fresh in your mind

---packs cameras, video equipment, computers, phone chargers, and Ipod. So that when you get to your destination, you do not use any of this. You forget to record, or snap a picture, or check your e-mail. This step is a waste of energy, but we do it every.single. time.

---packs the magical, all powerful DVD player. And brings extra batteries, just in case. And every movie the kids own.

---if dogs are travelling, there is an entire other bag of stuff for them. And a giant dog kennel.

---on packing day, mom still manages to clean up house, feed kids, answer e-mails, cook, shower, and get the oil changed in the car. And write a blog.  Then she sits quietly, waiting for dad to come home, so she can pack the car and leave. She's mapped the route, and knows we will be "here" at 5:15 for a dinner at Wendy's before the kids have a total meltdown.

How Daddy Gets Ready For A Trip:
-goes to work. Works.
-comes home. Sees that wife is completely packed, as is his entire family. The bags are waiting by the door.
-sees the laundry has been put away. Ut oh. Wife is mad at me.
-is questioned by wife: "where is your bag, dear?" He told wife he packed last night. He didn't. Ut oh, it's that bulging neck vein again. He's seen it before. He is scared.
-Quick! Throw some shit in a bag and get the F outta here before she freaks out.
-Gets to destination, and realizes that he didn't pack socks. Or a tooth brush. Or any pants.

And he wonders why I drink wine. ;)

Things That I Love: Tuesday Night Supper Club

For what I think has been the last 8-10 weeks, my friends and I always seem to gather for dinner at my house on Tuesday nights. Some different friends come and go every week, but the usuals are always here. It started out as random chance, and has developed into an every week thing. And I freaking love every single minute of it.
I love that the simple aspect of people gathering around food can be so wonderful.  Our children play together and have grown to be close, and we have all grown closer as well--even the newer, or not as often members of the club.  We laugh, we share fears, we toast to another day of surviving life.  It feeds more than our bellies; it feeds our souls too. 

Sometimes I forget that there are people in the universe that do not have this. They have the same "stuff of life" happen, but don't have a group of friends to share in that with them. It makes me ever-more grateful for these wonderful friendships, and wonderful meals, and wonderful support.

Here's to you, Tuesday peeps!  Pass the salt and pepper.

Life: Hot Mess Style

Life is in full swing here at the Casa de Hot Mess.  There hasn't been a lot of time to even do all of the laundry, let alone get a whole lot of blog postings out. So, sorry. Monday recap, here we go:

1. My kids do not listen. I try to keep from complaining about child rearing too much, mainly because my children are walking miracles and I know there are folks out there who would give their leg so they could scream at their darling daughter about playing in the dog water. Honestly though, I am fed up. I know it is their ages, and I know a lot of it is Sam's autism, but I can't tell you how many times a day I hold my tongue and the top of my head so that it doesn't blow off.

2. Speaking of Sam's autism, April is autism awareness month. Every day with Sam is a challenge in some respect, and I do hope that the therapies and school and research studies and money that I'm paying out the wazoo help him to be "just another kid" some day.  The University Daily Kansan newspaper interviewed me about autism this weekend, so when they publish the article I will be sure to link it here. I'm past the anger stage of Sam's disease, and also past the sadness of it. The uncertainty is still there, and probably always will be, but the more I can get the word out about autism, and how important therapies are for kids (are you listening Kansas state legislature?), the better I will feel about it all. For now, we do the best we can and I try to immerse myself in research and new therapies for our son.

3. I got a new refrigerator last Thursday. It is the coolest thing ever...literally. :)  Yep, I am old. New appliances excite me. She's stainless steel and her name is Bertha, since she's got a wide berth. I had to sledge hammer a wall in so that it would fit, so Bertha is not going anywhere. If we sell this house, she stays with it. ;)

4. Saturday I had the first of many (I hope!) Mamacitas and Margaritas patio parties.  I've got lots of lady friends from all walks of life that have needed a good old fashioned breather these days. So my friend Megan and I threw together some taco stuff, guacamole, and made a pitcher of margaritas, and all of our stressed out women friends came over to chat, vent, laugh and have a great time. Just what the doctor ordered for a lot of us.  I think it is important to have a breather every once in a while as a mom/parent/wife/member of the female race, so I was happy to host. It was also a great opportunity for many of our friends to meet new people/eachother.  Good stuff.

That's pretty much what's been going on the past week or so.  This week will bring more adventures I am sure. Stay tuned.

One of the Best Vacations Ever.

Hubs and I recently returned from what I would consider one of the best vacations ever.  We were in Maui, Hawaii for one of my best friend's weddings.  Everything was beautiful, and tropical, and WARM! During the time we were in Hawaii, it snowed 9 inches in the state I live. But in Maui? It was 85 and sunny every single day, save for about 45 minutes between 3:30 and 4:30 when the skies would cloud up.  I have no shame in admitting that I did not want to leave. While we were laying on the beach, I was conjuring up ways we could find jobs and send for our kids. We could just live at this nice, fancy hotel until we could find a house. HA. HA.

This vacation was more than just a fun trip to a friend's wedding. Hubs and I will be married 5 years in April, and since we plunged right into "real life married people stuff" after our wedding, we never took a proper honeymoon. I figured Hawaii for the 5 year mark would suffice just fine.

So, here are a few photos from the trip. We had wonderful times aboard snorkeling tours, at luaus, whale watching excursions, driving up volcanoes, and hanging out with our best friends on their very special day.  I missed our kids dearly, but knew they were in excellent hands with Aunt Kath and Sammah. Hell, it was like they were on vacation, too! There is one thing I can tell you for sure: we will be returning to Maui. Maybe with our children, maybe for another couples-only vacation, but it is absolutely too beautiful and too wonderful to never see again.  I could write a pamphlet for Maui's convention and visitors bureau. ;)

 The sunset over Kamaole Beach. This beach was literally 1/2 block from our hotel. And it was beautiful.

 This is the sunrise over Haleakala crater. Yep, it's a volcano. It was awe-inspiring, and I was so glad to be able to share it with hubs. We were there with over 300 people, and not a word was spoken as the sun rose over the clouds and the crater. Gorgeous. Closest thing to heaven on Earth.

 This is the spot where my friends exchanged their wedding vows. Down there between the grass and volcanic rocks is a beautiful little beach. It was perfect.

 This is a whale that I saw on our snorkeling tour. Between November and April, there are thousands of whales around Maui, there to mate and have babies. It was the coolest thing ever.

 Sam was very nervous about us never coming home, so he gave us two of his dinosaur things to take with us to remember him. We ended up going all "Flat Stanley" with them; they came along on all of our adventures, and we took pictures and sent them to Sammah's facebook page for him to see. It was awesome.

 This is at the Feast at Lele luau. Wonderful food, and great dancing! This is also the night the tsunami warnings came. There is no photo, but shortly after this wonderful luau ended, we spent the night at a school parking lot inland as tsunami sirens blared, and we flat freaked out. 

 This picture creeps me out. It is the beautiful Kamaole beach again. On a Friday. Completely empty.  They closed the beaches this day, because of tsunami threat, and very strange tide patterns. Scary.

 This is the Lahaina port, as we are leaving for our whale watching dinner cruise. So pretty!

North Shore, in Paia.  Awesome surfing and more beautiful beaches.

Happy Birthday, Baby Girl!

Before hubs and I ever considered having children, he was always wary of the Ides of March. You know, the alleged day when Julius Caesar was stabbed by his best friend, an event predicted by a crazy soothsayer or something.  It was a bad luck day for my ever-so-superstitious husband.

And then, our full-of-life, tiny, outgoing baby Sloane was born. On the Ides of March.  It became a wonderful day for us, even though I still think John is wary of it. Not because of a stabbing these days, but because it marks the day our little girl gets a year older.

Happiest of birthdays, Sloaney Baloney.  You have brought such joy, light, laughter, and craziness to our family. We don't remember life without you. You smile with your whole face, and don't know a stranger.  You love your brother, and are daddy's little girl.  You've got mama wrapped around your finger as well.  You love dress up, shoes, ponies, and baby dolls.  You never miss a snack time...heck, if given the chance, you would snack all day long.  You are kind to all children, and are sympathetic to anyone who is crying. You are a natural caregiver, and you can dance like a rockstar.  We worry about you in your older years. ;)  You are a force of nature, and bigger than life.

Happy 2nd birthday, Sloane Elise.  We love you more than you could ever imagine.

 Birthday donut.

Blowing out the candles with friends.

Dressed to impress.

Giving mommy some rockstar kisses.

Dude You Don't Understand, I'm From Kansas.

Kansas is a flat, non tropical, landlocked state in the US.  We worry about tornadoes, and blizzards, and the occasional range fire.  I can deal with all of these things, probably because I have lived in Kansas my entire life.

Until 2 days ago, I had never given a second thought to a tsunami watch.  And then I lived through one, hunkered down in a school parking lot in our rental Subaru Forester.  Fun times people, fun times.

We probably overreacted a little bit, but at the time I could not wrap my head around "wall of water 10 feet high coming for the island", so we shagged ass out of our hotel resort for higher ground.  The news casters here in Hawaii are worse than Katie Horner with their worst case scenarios, and they had us plum freaked the F out. Our front desk people did not seem terribly concerned about it either, and I kept saying "But you don't get it. I have no idea what to do. I am from Kansas."

So John and I did the only thing we thought we could, and packed up our car with water and clothing and money, and got the hell out of Dodge.

The town we are staying in got some localized flooding, and the shore was eerie and weird for most of yesterday, but I am happy to say we did not fare too badly.

I think I might get a shirt printed that says "I survived a tsunami".  It's probably the closest I will ever get to experiencing one, and that is OK with me. Kansas is looking pretty awesome and safe right now. Sure, there are tornadoes, but you can hide in your basement and still be living large.

Mele Kalikimaka in March

Aloha friends!

As I type this, there is a lovely island breeze blowing through our room, and I am sitting in a chair in a swimsuit.  It is a balmy 85 degrees, and the humidity is about 80%.

I am in paradise.

Hubs and I are in Hawaii for a friend's wedding. We have been climbing volcanos, going to the beach, and doing crazy things like snorkeling and body boarding, all at like 7:30am thanks to jet lag.  It has been wonderful.

But you know what? I miss my kids. Bad. Super bad.  Sam gave us 2 of his beloved dinosaurs to take with us on our trip, so we've been snapping shots of the Dino Dudes at various tourist spots on the island. They go with us everywhere--our friends even let the Dino's take wedding pictures with them, and atop their wedding cake.

The "flat Stanley"-esque photos are serving 2 purposes...first, they show Sam all of the experiences that we've had. Secondly, they keep me always thinking of the kiddos, but also being able to enjoy an adult only vacation.  Facebook has been blowing up with our Dino Dude travels.

Paradise has been wonderful, but I am realizing that even Hawaii has it's drawbacks if I can't come home every night to my sweet children.  I'm certain that by the end of this adventure, we will be happier than ever to come home to our freezing cold, relatively inexpensive Midwestern city. With two well traveled Dinosaurs.