One More Chapter From The "Mother Of The Year" Book

Tell me I am not the only one. Please.

It's been a shit-tacular week here. Just lots of behavior problems, sleep issues with everyone, and my spouse has been working a lot.  I still have yet to meet a whole lot of people here, so the seclusion has been getting to me and I might be going a little bit cray cray.

Today, I took the kids to the complex swimming pool, much like I do at least 4 times per week. It was a beautiful 97 degrees and breezy, so I thought we would enjoy many hours splashing and expelling energy. Twenty minutes into it, the kids wanted to get into the hot tub.  In the summer. In Las Vegas.

I tried to be reasonable, and said "10 minutes."  So, I set my timer, and even gave the appropriate prompts for Sam.  At the end of 10 minutes, he refused to get out. "No. No minutes. I'm staying."  I calmly threw down the "count to three and then we go home" gauntlet.  No dice.

So mama counted to three, and with every number announced, my blood pressure raised about 100 points.  At three, I went to grab him, and he went to the middle. So I got in and got him, said "time to dry off" and put him on the concrete.  He ran to the pool and jumped in, swimming to the middle.

Mama lost her shit.  I got in, and dragged him to the side, and out of the pool.  He kicked and screamed as I put his water shoes on him, gathered our things, and dragged him out of the pool area. I am pretty sure that most of the patrons enjoying the pool saw more of my chest then they had ever intended on seeing.  I managed to say few words until he started laying on sidewalk instead of walking beside me.  Then I freaked the F out.

Bad call in the autism book, bad call in the parenting book, bad call all around. But he pushed my last freaking button, and I was done.

I basically dragged him home, along with a pool bag and another 3 year old who was pissed at her brother for "ruining everything again."

So now, I've turned on the TV, locked myself on the patio, and am currently drinking straight vodka out of a high heeled shoe.

A scene was caused today, but as Las Vegas and myself say, the house always wins kid. (Or at least we like to think we do. Shit, man. This sucks.)

Autism Sucks.

Autism sucks.

Sam's autistic behaviors have come to the forefront since we packed up our stuff and drove 23 hours to a new place. Thankfully, he was comfortable in "Daddy's apartment", but getting him to go anywhere else has been a lesson in patience and trust.  Before we go anywhere, I have to announce what we are doing. "We are going to X, Y, and Z." If Sam approves, he is like Ok! Yeah! Let's go!  If he does not approve, he kicks and hits and screams NO!! and repeats "No X! No X! No X!  Sometimes X is a mundane "I need milk, we are going to the grocery store, kid."  But, if he doesn't want to go, I either have to endure A: The shit fit of all shit fits on the way to X,Y or Z  or B: Stay home and seethe anger at my anxiety riddled child.  Most of the time we go with option A and bring a big dose of patience, but since I am also new here, sometimes it just isn't worth it.  I hate to admit it, but I am seething rage right now as I write this blog.

I'm losing my ever-loving mind.  I know it isn't his fault. Still, I don't have girlfriends here that I can sit around a table with that have known him his whole life to tell me "he's going to be OK, you are all going to be OK. Now let's hug and toast how hard it is to raise children!"  I have me, and my 3 year old daughter who thinks it is unfair that Sam's moods dictate our activities (I cannot say I blame her, as I feel the same way). Oh yeah, and my workaholic husband.

Sam cannot get into his developmental psychiatrist until the middle of July, and his regular pediatrician refuses to tinker with his medicines; he'd rather the psych handle it. Again, I understand. I just wish someone could throw me a bone with this kid right now.

Autism sucks.

Memorial Day. *Sigh*

This weekend was a pretty good one, looking back on it.  We discovered more of our new city, took the kids to the children's museum and Freemont Street, and spent lots of time sunning and splashing at the pool.  Hubs and I spent a lot of time together just talking and re-learning to be married to each other again.  All in all, good stuff.

But something was missing from our weekend. Camaraderie.  The kids didn't splash and play with their bestest friends, and we didn't sit around The Flying Fork's pool chatting and laughing and eating and drinking and laughing and laughing and laughing with our friends.  They had their wonderful inaugural pool weekend, and we missed out on it.  The children often asked this weekend where Jessie or KatieJill or Johnny or Aunt Megan was, and it broke my heart to say "we don't live near them anymore."

We are looking forward to meeting people here, and I anticipate that as that happens, the kids won't ask so much about friends and family back home. However, for this first holiday for us away from everything that was normal on this weekend was just weird and sad.

I miss my peeps, and I miss laughing a lot. 

Nevada vs. Kansas. Pros and Cons

So, I have officially been a resident of Nevada for what now? Four days?  I've been out exploring, shopping, buying stuff, and tooling around.  Moving away from my totally awesome and fantastic life in Kansas has been terribly difficult for me, even though my family is now all together and all that jazz.  In an effort to keep my face out of a quart of ice cream a day while slugging around in a pitted out t-shirt, I have been compiling a list of pros and cons to this drastic change in social life, climate, and region.

Nevada Pros
1.Um...yeah.  I can see the strip from my house. And from Costco. And from Target.  Adult playground is a literal 5 minute drive.

2. Produce prices are much cheaper here, believe it or not, and you don't pay taxes on food. Hey, I'm a stay home parent...and I love to grocery shop.  It's akin to "50% off everything at Nordstroms" for those of you who don't cook.

3. YOU CAN BUY WINE AT THE GROCERY STORE!! AND FOR MUCH CHEAPER!  "Honey, I need you to pick me up some yogurt, juice boxes, Bota Boxes, and broccoli on your way home. Thanks"

4. We can buy 100% more house here for the same amount of money. I feel bad for the folks who got hosed when the housing bubble burst, but I am also super excited about a house big enough for my family and guests to be comfortable.

5. Cliche time!!!!!!   The heat? It is dry.  Like, you can go outside and walk around without looking like a wet dog in 10 seconds.  No more 4000% humidity. 


6. My husband is here.  The kids missed him so much, and it makes me smile that they are so happy to be back with dad. I like it because I can get out of the house at night without paying someone 10 bucks an hour. Winning!


7. Five hours from the ocean and Disneyland. Tons of National Parks within a weekend drive.  We's gonna do some 'splorin', kids.


Nevada Cons
1. Goes without saying, but I miss EVERYONE. My family, my friends, Downtown Dennis pushing his baby stroller down Mass Street while dressed as a cat.  My heart hurts, I miss everyone so much. If I had magic powers I would bring them all here....hey! You know what? Lance Burton lives up the mountain from my new house, maybe I can take over a casserole.....

2. There is a law in Nevada against talking on your cell phone while driving.  Yes, I know it is safer than careening down a highway while coffee talking, but do you realize how hard it is?  Old habits die hard, and I have already plugged "Hot Mess Cell Phone Tickets" into our budget.

3. Astro-turf lawns. Really? Who though this was a good idea? WTF?  It gets super balls ass hot, too. Just like the concrete. And your car. Hot plastic lawn...hawt.

4. Gasoline prices.  Balls. Enough said.

5. Smog, and requisite smog checks.  That beautiful haze in the distance? It isn't a mirage. It's pollution.  And, because me and my SUV are part of that lovely cloud, I get to have emissions testing on my car every year when I renew my car tags.  Kansas didn't have smog...the haze in the distance was cow fart.

6. Car Insurance prices.  People here drive like bat shit crazy lunatics, and it is reflected in "holy shit, this is double!" car insurance.

This is just a small list, which I am sure will grow on both fronts as the weeks wane on.  Pros vs. Cons for now are a draw.  Break even.  Not the best bet, but not a loser either.

Things I Learned While Trekking Across the U.S.

Hello friends!  Long time no see.  The Hot Mess Express rolled into Las Vegas on Friday, and we've been busy getting settled in.  It's weird to me that we are living in a place that Hubs and I used to go to for vacation...now we are here minus the plans to stay up until 3am rolling craps at MGM and drinking vodka sodas until we can no longer stand up. Today I went to the grocery store and Costco. Cuh-razy Vegas living, no?

Anyway, the process of packing up our life and schlepping it across the U.S. taught me some things. :)

1. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT let your husband be in charge of a moving company, or the packing process.  Mine sent the contents of my entire kitchen from Kansas to our 12 cabinet temporary apartment here. So now, my already tiny apartment dining room has a beautiful wall of brown boxes marked "china" and "stemware" and "service ware".  I do not plan to throw dinner parties in my two bedroom apartment Hubs. WTF? :)

2. Monitor the liquids consumption of your toddlers on the road.  Sixty four ounces of water/juice/soda/Manhattans means that I am certain I have seen every truck stop bathroom from Kansas to Nevada.  Every. Single. One.

3. In a pinch, Fiber One bars can pass as a candy bar for your family. But, they also pass as something else a bit later.

4. Pack for the apocalypse.  The children's drawers of clothing arrived at the apartment, but my socks and underwear are somewhere in 2 storage units...or a trucker's suitcase. *shudder* Creepy! Anyhoo,   thank baby Jesus for Target.

5. There is no forest in the Petrified Forest National Park.  There are, however, really beautiful desert landscapes, and petrified wood. Don't ask my kids though, because they couldn't be bothered to get out and look at million year old rock formations and trees. They wanted to eat Cheetos and watch Mickey Mouse.

6.According to my 3 year old, Oklahoma smells like goats. She must have been asleep on the drive through New Mexico.

I feel like I am completely starting over with my life, and the life of my kids. Our first night here, we took the kids to a casino to eat at a buffet. Might as well get them off on the right foot, no?

Best. Week. Ever.

Welp, the stars aligned this week friends. Not only did we buy a house in Nevada, but we sold ours here!  Woo to the freaking hoo!  I was starting to think it would never happen.

The flip side of this is...well, I have to leave my town. I love it here. Best city in Kansas, hands down.  Lawrence and Mrs. Hot Mess are synonymous with a lot of my friends and family, co-workers and bartenders.  I am sick to leave...but  there are way crappier places to have to relocate, no?

Ready or not, here we come. Soon. Like, in 4 weeks soon. EEKS!!!

Hold on. It's going to be a wild ride!!!!

Update

Hi everyone,

Once again, I have slacked on this blog. I am sorry. And once again, I will give you all the quick update.

1. Our house is still on the market. Blerg.
2. Said house needs foundation work, starting next week (as long as the rain holds off). Cha-ching. Do you hear that? It's the sound of my nest egg going up in smoke.
3. Sloane turned 3, it was fun and her cake was awesome.
4. Sam is still in therapy, though we are due to get a med check, since he is not sleeping and he's lashing out (mainly at me).
5. John loves his job.
6. Being a single parent sucks monkey nuts. Big time.
7. Go KU. Final Four, baby.
8. Being a single parent still sucks monkey nuts.


That's pretty much the short of it all. Things are busy here for sure.