Actual sentences uttered from my mouth this week:
"Don't pee on the book."
"Ficus trees are not a vegetable."
"Get your head out of the toilet...I don't care if you want to say good bye to the Cheerios, you can do it while standing up."
"The dog is not a horse."
"Sloaney, your baby is too young to eat Sun Chips. You eat them."
"You can't pee in the cereal aisle. That's what the bathroom is for."
"Stop licking the television."
Never a dull moment around here.