Friday, May 20, 2011

Kids Might Say The Darndest Things, But Mama's Got Some Doozies, Too.

Actual sentences uttered from my mouth this week:

"Don't pee on the book."

"Ficus trees are not a vegetable."

"Get your head out of the toilet...I don't care if you want to say good bye to the Cheerios, you can do it while standing up."

"The dog is not a horse."

"Sloaney, your baby is too young to eat Sun Chips. You eat them."

"You can't pee in the cereal aisle. That's what the bathroom is for."

"Stop licking the television."

Never a dull moment around here.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Friday Confessions

It's been an interesting week here at my house. I mean, they are always interesting, but this week has been super fun.

Sloane's new favorite phrase is Gosh Dammit.  Hmm. Wonder where she's heard that. I went to yell at the dog for getting into the garbage yesterday, and there she was "Gosh dammit, Duncan." She couldn't find a shoe, and out it came again.  And again when she dropped her ball.  Yeah. I'm not going to make a big deal of it, but I also dragged out the ol' cuss jar again.  Old habits and all...

Sam has made a major breakthrough in potty training. He's stayed dry for 2 days. The catch? He'll only pee outside, like the dogs.  No peeing on cheerios, no peeing for chocolate, he wants to pee with the dogs.  Again, I think I'm just going to roll with it for now, though I can see this becoming an issue at school when he decides to drop trow on the playground.

Sloane ate ketchup for breakfast. Not sausage, not hashbrowns....just ketchup.

I've been totally lazy today, and my excuse is that we're potty training. In actuality, I'm just tired and the weather is not conducive to getting anything done.

I really hate Friday the 13th. I really have had a fair share of horrible things go on during Friday the 13th, so I am content to stay home and hibernate today, so as to avoid driving.  I know it sounds silly, but I don't care.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Aloha Friday!

We made it through another week!  I am looking forward to some warm temperatures, and I really really miss Hawaii today. So, when you can't just hop a plane, you bring Hawaii to you.  Cheese! Man, those are some adorable little binks. Happy Friday!

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

It's Raining, It's Pouring...

Pouring down new appliances, that is.  Good grief.  They say it comes in threes?  OK, so fridge...check. Vacuum cleaner...check. Wonder what will be next? My money is on the dishwasher.

Anyhoo, today my vacuum cleaner bit the big one. Paulina. My purple Dyson whom I use every single day of my life. Every. Single. Day.  I'm not terribly OCD, but when you live in a house with 3 hairy pets and 2 messy kids (and yes, maybe one messy husband and a long haired perfect woman), your shit gets dirty real fast. So I have just made it a habit to vacuum all the rooms every day.  And, I'm a stay at home mom, so a vacuum is kind of a big part of my job. It's like a working woman's laptop, or 80's shoulder pad power suit.

Today, I was doing the stairs. My son Samuel has a flair for the dramatic these days, and he thought it would be so super fun to push Sloane's little toy baby stroller down the stairs. "OH MAMA. THIS IS SO MUCH FUN." So much fun, in fact, that he started hurling things down the stairs, one of the things being my beloved Paulina. Crash. Bits of plastic broke off, canisters won't go back on, Paulina has swept her last floor.  It was a scene right out of a soap opera, and I watched Paulina tumble in slow motion, in her purple boxy everyday evening wear, down the stairs into my den.  Oh the humanity.

And so, I did what every crazy vacuum lady does, and gave Paulina a proper adieu, wiped my tears, and put her into the garbage bin to be taken to the Dyson factory in the sky.  And high tailed my ass to Target for a new Dyson.

He's beautiful. I think I'll call him Pablo.