Yeah, well resolutions are made to be broken, and sometimes life gets in the way.
Our move to Nevada has been hard. A lot, lot, lot stinking harder than I ever thought it would be. We've dealt with the usual "new surroundings" stuff, but I've also had a harder than usual time making friends. The kids have had a harder-than-I-could-have-imagined time adjusting to the weather, and a new house, and "why can't we just go see Aunt Jessi and Sammah and Aidan and I MISS THEM." My husband moved around much of his school aged life, and even he said that this move was one of his hardest. I could write an entire book on how hard it was for me to leave Lawrence. Needless to say, I haven't felt particularly funny or had anything that I considered exciting and fun to write about. I sat at home a lot, we tried to discover the city on weekends when Hub was home, but mostly we just existed.
And then, my mama came to visit. And I told her how hard it was and that I hated it and why cant I just come home with you? And, instead of saying "Yeah! You should! Let's do it!", she said something different. She told me that even life in Larrytown would have changed had I stayed. The close friends I have there have children of their own, and they all go to different schools and like to do different things. They are all growing up, which means we all would spend less time together and more time chasing our children's dreams. Our families are also doing the same stuff--my brothers and sisters have kids and are more busy now, which means less time on weekends to get together. Same for John's family. Same for my friends' jobs' and things they are passionate about. "Lindsey, life is constantly changing. How you choose to deal with the change is what makes life exciting, and fun, and worth living."
I really enjoyed my time with my mom, and I bawled like crazy when she left. But her words hang in the air around here, and have left marks on my heart. And so, I started trying to look at Las Vegas as an exciting time in our life, and not a sad lonely place where we don't know anyone. I started inviting people I have met to do things, and they said yes! I began embracing the crazy and weird and madly interesting city I live in. Before, I'd just assume there was no sense of community here, and now I seek it out. It's made all the difference in the world.
I still love Kansas and my family and I always, always will. If there comes an opportunity for us to get closer to home, we will probably take it. But for now, I've chosen happiness here in this strange city. It doesn't quite feel like "home" yet, but who knows. Maybe someday it will.
And now, he's some photos of some of the fun things we've done since I changed my perspective. :)
The kids and I at the Bellagio Conservatory celebrating Chinese New Year. That picture is made of only flowers.
Sam and Sloane meeting Gregory Popvich, who does Pet Comedy Theater at Planet Hollywood.
Delicious beers at Hofbrauhaus.
After hours cocktail party with the men of Chippendales. Holy hot mans.
My time to shine at the Terry Cavaretta Trapeze Experience. It. Was. Awesome.
Trapeze with new friends. It was a fantastic time!
Our family, June 2013, Bellagio Conservatory.
Doing the best with what you have, where you are.
ReplyDeleteI soooo understand this.
Hugs L.
Lindsey, I totally understand where you are at. When I moved to Kansas City two years ago for a job, I was optimistic and excited. Then I discovered it was going to be harder than I thought. I, too, had a really tough time making friends and didn't feel like I fit in here. But fortunately, I recently got a job back in Wichita, which is what I consider home these days, and it feels so right to be back. It's crazy how it seems that everyone struggles to make new friends anymore. I guess you reach a certain age and people are more focused on their own families. And that thing your mom said about change, well, that realization is what got me through the past two years (although it took me a year to think of things that way).
ReplyDeleteAnyways, at least you have your family so you are not totally alone in your transition, although it is hard to be away from the rest of family. Best of luck! :)
Shannon-- it's great to know you don't walk a path alone, even though sometimes you certainly feel that way. Hugs to you, and I'm happy for you in your move back "home" to Wichita!
ReplyDeleteThat is exactly how I felt when I moved to Kansas City,and I'm seeing people well beyond your years and place in life just learning the life is about change lesson. Your Mama is wise. And you are amazingly honest, just one of the things I admire about you. Glad to see you posting again!
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