Sunday, May 20, 2012

Things I Learned While Trekking Across the U.S.

Hello friends!  Long time no see.  The Hot Mess Express rolled into Las Vegas on Friday, and we've been busy getting settled in.  It's weird to me that we are living in a place that Hubs and I used to go to for we are here minus the plans to stay up until 3am rolling craps at MGM and drinking vodka sodas until we can no longer stand up. Today I went to the grocery store and Costco. Cuh-razy Vegas living, no?

Anyway, the process of packing up our life and schlepping it across the U.S. taught me some things. :)

1. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT let your husband be in charge of a moving company, or the packing process.  Mine sent the contents of my entire kitchen from Kansas to our 12 cabinet temporary apartment here. So now, my already tiny apartment dining room has a beautiful wall of brown boxes marked "china" and "stemware" and "service ware".  I do not plan to throw dinner parties in my two bedroom apartment Hubs. WTF? :)

2. Monitor the liquids consumption of your toddlers on the road.  Sixty four ounces of water/juice/soda/Manhattans means that I am certain I have seen every truck stop bathroom from Kansas to Nevada.  Every. Single. One.

3. In a pinch, Fiber One bars can pass as a candy bar for your family. But, they also pass as something else a bit later.

4. Pack for the apocalypse.  The children's drawers of clothing arrived at the apartment, but my socks and underwear are somewhere in 2 storage units...or a trucker's suitcase. *shudder* Creepy! Anyhoo,   thank baby Jesus for Target.

5. There is no forest in the Petrified Forest National Park.  There are, however, really beautiful desert landscapes, and petrified wood. Don't ask my kids though, because they couldn't be bothered to get out and look at million year old rock formations and trees. They wanted to eat Cheetos and watch Mickey Mouse.

6.According to my 3 year old, Oklahoma smells like goats. She must have been asleep on the drive through New Mexico.

I feel like I am completely starting over with my life, and the life of my kids. Our first night here, we took the kids to a casino to eat at a buffet. Might as well get them off on the right foot, no?


  1. Lindsey,
    I love your sense of humor! Girl, I think you'll get through just fine! Hang in there--- things will improve --- gee, you already found the Costco and Target! Uncle Ron wants to know how Sloane knows what goats smell like! Sending hugs and lots of love your way --- good luck!

    1. We spent many a day at the farmstead in Overland Park petting goats. She knows the scent. ;) And we love and miss you terribly!

  2. What a fun new adventure - keep up with the blogging!