Deal With It, LTrain.

For the next few weeks, this place will probably be where I go to help navigate my huge "let's move across the country" life change.  Just so you know. ;)  

John left today. It went about as well as it could have, with a few last minute cluster f#$ks. You know, best laid plans and all that. My head light was burned out this morning when I left to take Sam to school, so in John's last ditch effort to be Man Of The House, he decided he would fix it before he left.  It took both of us to do it, and my hands were smaller, so they could maneuver the tight space easier. Suffice it to say, I ended up doing most of the light bulb installation.  It's almost like it was preparation for the weeks to come...John wanting to come do the things I don't want to do, but not being able to, and me having to put on my Big Girl Pants and do it myself.

I do not like to be alone.  John will tell you that one of our first serious conversations started with "I do not like to sleep alone."  And I do not.  And tonight, for the first of many nights in a row, I will crawl into my bed without my best friend next to me.  I know that it is temporary, and that the end result will be that we all end up in the desert together, happy and safe and sound.  But tonight?  Tonight I am heartbroken.  I miss my husband, and do not look forward to being the 100%, around the clock, only care provider for my household.

Life sometimes sucks.  A lot of times, though, the sucky times in life are what define and shape our relationships. They make them stronger. They make us more appreciative of the roles played in our family. They make the love grow when you thought your heart was at capacity.  They make you put on your Big Girl Pants and do what it right for your family, even if it isn't ideal.

I put mine on. Bring it.

Not Goodbye, but See You Soon?

Hubs leaves Friday. We recited our vows again by our garden pond tonight, just like we did on a very rainy day almost 6 years ago. Cheers to new beginnings, but I will always have heart strings attached to that spot in our yard here. For better or worse, in comfort and in new adventure. I ♥ you, John.

Wow.

Many of you know we have a son with autism.  He's doing really, really well, and I am thankful that he is on the higher functioning side of the spectrum. It could be so much more difficult for us.  We still have our days, but the really difficult ones are not as frequent since Sam began therapy.

This PSA really spoke to me, though.  Autism knows no socioeconomic boundaries.  Rich, poor, famous or infamous, everyone has the same chance of having a child with autism: 1 in 110. Staggering.

Vegas or Bust

Commence freak out.

My husband was offered a really great job opportunity recently.  He's been unhappy at his job for quite some time, and a recent meeting with the big wigs of the old company was the sign from Grilled Cheezus that it was time for Hubs to start putting feelers out.  Well, feel no more.  He's been offered, and has accepted a new position, which he starts the 30th of January.

Yes. That is in a mere 25 days.

Twenty five days to get this house in tip top, "please buy me" mode.  Twenty five days to try and find a place to live.  Oh yeah, and an interstate, 1300 mile move.

Twenty five days to say goodbye to 25 years of friendships, old haunts, favorite spots, and family.

I waffle between being really excited, and being totally scared. I love it here in my comfortable spot.  I also love a new adventure.

Ready or not, Las Vegas. Here comes the Hot Mess Express.

Deuces, 2011

The year 2011 has been a banner one for us.  Hubs and I vacationed in Maui, and he got to experience his first trans-Pacific airplane ride.  My son started school. We transitioned to a no sippy cup, all big kid bed home. I got to see the pure joy of Christmas in my children's eyes. I met wonderful people, and grew closer to those that I've known forever. I really can't say it was a bad year. Sure, we had our roller coaster moments, but all in all, the past 12 months have been pretty good for us. We are blessed.

I anticipate that 2012 will bring with it some new, exciting happenings.  One of my resolutions is to come here and share my thoughts and photos more often.  Come along for the ride, friends. You won't be disappointed.

Happy New Year!
The Hot Mess

Stuff my Sloaney Says

Sweet Lord, my daughter has been cracking us up lately. Her vocabulary is fairly advanced, and she's been zinging us with some hilarious phrases lately.  And some "colorful" language that I am certain she heard from her father, because we all know that I am *so* not the swearing type. ;)  She's especially been fond of calling everything crazy--from herself, to the many things she talks to us about. Everything in Sloane's world is crazy.

"Mom! I smell like goats! It's crazy!"

"Here mom! Here's a booger. It's a crazy booger!"

"Jackson is my little puppy mom. He's mean and bites Sam. I love him."

"I am so scared of the turkey mom.  It is delicious."

These are just a few of her phrases. I find myself cracking up daily at her, whether she is telling me about her "crazy" life, or repeating what daddy calls the cat when he's mad at it.  So funny!

Monday Musings

Whew. It's been real hard to get over here, so I am sorry.  I promise to do better.

In the mean time, my thought for the day:

To turn my lemons in to lemonade on a day where my kids are coughing, snotting, whining, and crapping on everything, I leave you this...I cannot think of a better calming drug in the entire world than having your sweet, sick child asleep on your shoulder. There. I said it. I love it. Even in all of it's snotty, puking glory, I love to feel wanted.  Everyone wants mama when they are sick, even me. And I am thankful for the opportunity to be the mama to these cute little binks.

Happy Monday.