Reason #4958 Why My Husband Will Never Leave Me

Dear Husband,

You owe me big time. We spent all day at the pool, in the heat and sun and water. Tonight is my 3 hour grocery store/Target shopping night. The kids are going to be in bed at like 6:30, and you'll have the house to yourself while I'm out hunting and gathering. I envision a child-free Cardinals game in your future.

I give you all the easy ones.

I am Wife of the Year. You're welcome.

-Lindsey

Monday's Milestone...

Wah wah waaaahhh. I used to have babies. I used to be up to my elbows in infant gear, bibs, bottles, and burp rags.

I've thrown the bottles out, and now use the burp rags to dust or clean up random disgusting things. Today, I took down the crib. The BABY crib. Sloane moved on up to the east side of Toddlertown, and got herself a nice, not-so-new big girl bed. And Sam got himself a super big boy bed. They are so proud, and I am once again flipping through photo albums, bawling and clutching my children, and begging them not to grow up so fast.

There are no more babies in my house. Just toddlers and big boys now.

Pass the Kleenex. :'(

What Kind of Mom Are You?

I was asked this question recently...and I didn't know how to respond. What do you mean "what kind of mom am I?" The person asking was looking for a neat little category to put me in, like "Earth Mom" or "Martini Drinking, Pill Popping Boozehound Mom." I started thinking about it, and I guess I'm a little bit of everything wrapped up into one. For instance I am a mom that:

1. Likes to recycle and compost, but Pampers and Similac are my heros.
2. fixes my kids healthy, nutritious foods 99% of the time, but also makes special trips to McDonalds for going #2 on the potty. And I hide Oreos.
3. thinks it's hilarious when my 3 year old's favorite song is "Blame it on the al-al-al-al-al-alcohol"
4. vaccinates my kids, but asks "is it really necessary" to give antibiotics.
5. loves babyGap but LOVES bargain garage-sale finds on kids clothes.
6. has zero problems with evening play dates also being evening adult social hour.
7. is appreciative of my role as a stay home mom, but totally jealous of my workin' moms out there kickin' ass and taking names.

So, what is this? Somebody tell me, so I can alert the gaggles of people who ask me what I am everyday. Right now, I just tell them "an awesome mom." Because even though we all do something differently, if raising healthy, well adjusted kids is your goal, then what is there to worry about?

Lesson of the Day

Seashells do not travel through the laundry well. All of the beautiful sand dollars that John and I gathered on the Oregon coast were left in his cargo shorts, and are now in 10,000 bits inside of my dryer.

FML.

Kids Are Rough On Your Body

It isn't enough that the simple process of growing and bearing a child completely destroys your body, the kids keep messing it up after they are born, too!

As you know, Sloane gave me a broken nose and black eye a few weeks back after pile driving my face with a bottle of milk. Well, today, I was navigating Sam's bedroom that is littered with every toy known to man. I stepped sideways on one of those straight-from-hell Matchbox cars, and was down on the ground screaming obscenities faster than a speeding bullet. Holy hell, the pain.

So, here I sit, jacked up on Tylenol 3 and sporting a flippin' walking boot. But at least it is 100 degrees with 90% humidity. My friend Jeannene suggested I bling it out, and I'm actually taking it into consideration, seeing as nothing goes with shorts more than rhinestones and ribbons. :)

So, note to the rookie parents out there: The stretch marks will fade over time (if you're lucky), but that doesn't mean your kids won't find some other cool scar or hospital bill to give you for a lasting memory that you chose to bring them into the world.

Wacky Wedding Season: Take Two

The second stop on our crazy wedding tour took us to Denver, Colorado. I am quite familiar with Colorado, seeing as it was a regular vacation spot when I was growing up in western Kansas. Joe and Christine's wedding reception was at a really cool golf course outside Highlands Ranch, and the rocks were amazing! It was so great to see them, and share in their special day.

John and I took their wedding as an opportunity for a mini vacation. The Cardinals were playing the Rockies while we were there, and the Cards are kind of my husbands favorite team on the planet. So we went to a game, and a few breweries, and the science museum. It was a great vacation!

What an awesome view!
Congrats to Joe and Christine!

Wacky Wedding Season: Take One

Every grown up I know tells me they had a year in their life where it seemed like everyone and their dog got married.

This was my year.

Me? I was married almost 5 years ago. I know, I am such a trendsetter. ;)

First on the wedding train: Hayden and Kieu. They had a beautiful ceremony, and a black-tie reception on the Plaza. I got to wear and evening gown, and see my hubs in a tuxedo. It was good times. Very, very good times.

This, my friends, is where it all went wrong. Or all went right, to some.

Hayden with all the DC girls.

Cutting their beautiful cake tower!

We clean up nice.

These ladies have been my friends for EVER. And I do mean EVER.

There were many photos from this evening, but Sam is already calling me to come read him a book on the potty, so I had to wrap it up. :) It was great to feel like a princess for a day, I can't even imagine how Kieu felt.

Congrats you two! On to the next one...

Congrats!

I am an aunt! Again! Congrats Megan and Chris, I can't wait to hold a cute, tiny, sleeping, precious baby. Hopefully he's got a name by then, though I do like the ring of baby Tarzan. :)

Vacation's All I Ever Wanted...

A great big SHOUT OUT to sister Kathy. In a mere 7 hours, I will be on a plane to Colorado with my husband. Without children. For 3 whole days.

I am sad, but I am so, so happy, too. I need a vacation. And I am getting one.

Hooray. Hooray. Hooray.

I will miss my little schnugs. I cried when I put them to bed tonight. But mama needs a break, and they need to learn that there are a whole slew of SUPER COOL aunts, uncles, and grandparents that they should love hanging out with. Hell, their aunts, uncles, and grandparents are cooler than I am. And they need to know it. And I need an excuse to drink a guilt-free beer at 1 in the afternoon, JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO.

Also, a big congrats to Joe and Christine. I can't wait to share in your special day with you.

Off to the Rockies! Peace out!