Inspired by the current Olympic Games going on, I've decided that there is another set of Olympic-style "sports" worthy of recognition by newscasters. Just like the Olympics, these sports test patience, strength, agility, and so much more. They require many hours of dedication, sleepless nights, and sacrifices. Theses, ladies...are the Mom-O-lympics.
1. Toddler Wrangling (Retail Store Style)- This event requires chasing your one year old, newly walking toddler throughout any retail store while trying to shop for a decent looking dress for your cousin's wedding. A dress that needs to be tried on and decided upon while your little one is crawling under the stalls of the dressing rooms, laughing and screaming at the top of his lungs. First one to check out with an acceptable piece of attire wins a spa day and an all-day, paid for babysitter.
2. Toddler Wrangling (Restaurant Style)- Also requires your newly upright toddler, but sans a morning nap and a snack. Did I mention it's lunchtime rush at your favorite downtown mexican place? And that your overbearing friend is the one who insists upon dining at said "hot spot?" The winner of this event will have fed, entertained, and restrained said toddler, all while feeding herself a complete meal, and futile attempts at conversation with said friend. Meltdowns will cost you angry stares from childless, fall rush sorority hopefuls, and meathead jocks from the college football team. Winner of this impossible feat will earn a shopping spree (sans children) at Nordstroms, where everything you try on will magically fit and look fabulous!
3. Nap time scramble- You just put your little one down for a nap, and you know you've got 45 good minutes of cleaning house. Your spouse is a slob, and it was your morning to host the toddler playdate, where other parents decide not to respect your "no food in the living room" rule. Your objective is to get the house picked up before the kid wakes up, and then once he does awake, keeping the house picked up until your spouse gets home to see that you actually "did" something today (roll eyes here). Hate to break it to you folks, but this feat is almost impossible. Winner will get a weekend away in Tahiti with her own cabana boy, while spouse stays home and attempts to "do something" while taking care of your kids.
These are only a few of the "events" for Mom-O-lympics. What else can you think of?
BWAHAHAHA. "Spouse stays home and attempts to 'do someting' while taking care of the kids." BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA. Oh, you are funny, girl.
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